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Jim Morgans Wood Profits

Wood Profits by Jim Morgan

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Crazy Mistakes Woodworkers Make

Wedged Woodworker

WINTER COMES EARLY HERE in

Oregon, a fact I'd forgotten as I carried a custom kitchen cabinet to my truck. The cabinet was long and slender, to go above an extra-wide range. As I stepped out the shop door, my foot skidded on an icy patch, and I went down in a heap. As I fell, one of the cabinet's doors swung open and wedged between the door jam and the door. Simultaneously, the opposite end of the cabinet wedged itself under the top of the door jam. As a result, I was wedged, too, under the cabinet, on my back.

I quickly realized that I couldn't extricate myself without damaging the cabinet. So, my choices were to save myself, but wreck the cabinet, save the cabinet, but freeze to death underneath it... or call for help.

I managed to twist my arm enough to retrieve my cell phone and dial the house. Did I mention it was past midnight? My wife was sleeping."Come to the shop," I pleaded.

Everything was covered with ice, so billions of diamonds sparkled when the porch light flashed on. In the radiance, I could see my wife running toward me, her bare feet glinting silvery in the moonlight and her pink robe fluttering behind her like a flag—a one-woman cavalry coming to my rescue.

—Dale Thompson

Make your woodworking mistakes pay! Send us your most memorable "What was I thinking?"blunders. You'll receive $100 for each one we print. E-mail to: [email protected] or send to AW Oops!, American Woodworker, 1285 Corporate Center Drive, Suitel80, Eagan, MN 55121. Submissions can't be returned and become our property upon acceptance and payment. We may edit submissions and use them in all print and electronic media.

Spirited Finish

THE FIRST COAT OF LACQUER made the mahogany butler table that I had just built look awesome. So, when I applied a second coat a few days later, I was sure the table would look even better. But instead, it looked washed out and pale. A third coat made things even worse. How could lacquer make wood so dull and lifeless? As I reached to check the can of lacquer, I noticed that the can sitting next to it was the same color. Oh-oh. I had grabbed the wrong can and applied two coats of mineral spirits.

—Craig Bingman

74 www.AnmrieanWoodwoitor.ooin june/july 2009

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