What It Really Means

Don't expect me in for dinner.

We've got some more firewood.

I need to use the john.

Your best containers are now holding my waterstones.

I need to get my order up to $500 for free shipping.

That's how it turned out.

I have no intention of asking for help.

...as long as you warn me before you visit the shop.

I need you to keep your day job.

Signs that OSHA*

has taken

Control of your shop

Shop-made plywood armor (a less-expensive alternative to commercially available Kevlar vest)

7,000-cfm dust extracción and air purification system.

Machine tether cord to prevent woodworker from being sucked into primary dust-collection port.

"Use with adequate ventilation" stickers on all shop materials and supplies, including hardware packs.

85% to 90% of all shop surfaces are painted safety orange.

Insurance waiver required to enter your own garage. ■

All the wood you buy comes with ''Splinter Hazard" warning stickers.

"Break-away" drive belts on all power tools.

Push-back guards on hand planes and chisels.

Safety glasses for the shop dog.

"Occupational Safety and Health Administration

BOTTOM ROW PHOTOS lltfl TO RIGHT): COCHUSY Of PMOTOf IST OI996 IISA RO*/ClOef PHOTOS. INC 19 CARI ROK.WTV CI970 ClOM PHOTOS. INC 19 ClOBE PHOTOS. INC 19

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